Everybody’s Got Something – 3 Tips to Get Over Yourself

Recently I was at a dinner which turned into a one-up discussion on steroids. We have all been at one of these meetings where folks are comparing and competing for the best “fish story” of the evening. What was amazing to me was this: they were not trumping each other with positive achievements or the “outdoing of the Joneses” – they were trolling on about their lamentations, ills, and 12-miles-in-the-snow-with-no-shoes stories. It was simply startling, as all of these individuals were successful and were incredibly fortunate in most aspects of their lives. Yet, incredulously, they were competing for the saddest most downtrodden story around the table.

Another scenario: our family’s dear friend and former pastor and I were visiting the other night at my dad’s 85th birthday soiree. This man is real and authentic, and has touched thousands of lives with his gifts and wisdom. In our discussion, I was boasting about my mom and her resiliency (at 83) of having hip surgery with no general anesthesia (just a spinal!) to avoid the ‘brain kill’ that can happen. My mom simply does not believe in ‘complaining’ and is my role model in life – particularly when it comes to handling adversity. Our friend said: You know Kristin, “the reality is EVERYBODY’s got something.”  And of course, he is absolutely right. My mom’s mantra has always been: “Everybody has their own ‘sack of rocks’; it is all in how you carry them.” What an ironic comparison.

Yet, let’s face it; there are times when our load seems heavier than everyone else’s! Divorce, lost jobs, Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, political strife at work, larger quotas than anyone else, financial ruin (or potential ruin), lack of new business, disappointing service from our service people; the list is as endless as it is varied.

So what are a few tips we can each integrate to rise above the fray of complaints and enjoying the problems we face in life? And, yes, no question these are basic in nature…yet, frankly, the most potent, powerful actions ARE basic.

Tip 1: Find at least 1 thing for which to be grateful every single day. Write it down. This could be the sunrise, the unconditional love from your puppy, or the new valuation of your company’s worth! It simply does not matter the magnitude of what it is…just simply that it IS. By calling it out, we reflect it…which makes it double and multiply its value.

Tip 2: Ask myself, what am I supposed to be learning – or teaching – through this experience? I believe this wholeheartedly: nothing – NOTHING – happens to us without a reason. We are either to take stock in the lesson and/or we are to be teaching others through our response to it.

Tip 3: What we think about will be what we create in our lives. As I have mentioned in my first book, we are ultimately what we think…our thoughts undoubtedly become things. Many books and individuals – from James Allen (As A Man Thinketh – one of my mother’s favorite books) to Bob Proctor to the Bible in Proverbs 23:7 will attest this truism. So – we must start there and keep the positive, affirming, faithful thought.

Believe me, we have all been privy to hosting our own pity parties. Me at the top of the list, I am sure! Yet, we have a choice every day to change our thoughts and the way we approach the daily happenings in life AND business. Whatever they are. Everybody’s got something…no one is above this human condition with all its glory AND challenge. Repeating these challenges or difficulties – AND making them dinner banter – only makes them magnify and grow in our minds.

How can we re-frame our perspective? What tips do you have to offer us and our readers to help us keep the positive thought when life deals us a curve ball? Please share – we want to know your thoughts!!

11 responses to “Everybody’s Got Something – 3 Tips to Get Over Yourself

  1. Your title really caught my attention, so first of all, let me say thank you for spending a little time on that.

    Secondly, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head when it comes to competing for the saddest story.

    I purchased a book a few weeks ago called the How of Happiness, and it has shed quite a bit of light that we all can actually choose to be happier regardless of circumstance. The author is a psychologist of some sort, and she has quite a bit of research to back her up.

  2. Kristin…Very true. Looking at the positives in life everyday negates the negatives. My wife and I ask our little daughters , whilst seated at the dinner table, to talk about at least one thing that made them happy that day, before eating dinner. Most days they forget about complaints/moaning after that :>)

    Lance Cummins….Sonja Lyubomirsky is the name of teh psychologist.

  3. Truer words were never spoken. I choose to carry my “bag of rocks” in a Louis Vuitton bag along with a sassy attitude and it makes all the difference in the world! Keep up the great work.

  4. Wow, absolutely on target…and so amazing that you took this topic on and in typical Kristin style, gave us our words to march by today. When our sons call to check in on their Dad I always try to lead the conversation with the happiest story of the day; it makes their call more joyous and mine, as well.

  5. Kristin-this was a GREAT way to start my day! I couldn’t help thinking about the old show (and now you know my age) “Queen for a Day’ that consisted of 3 people with sad stories and the audience voted on who was the saddest. This person was then showered with gifts. Looking back I realize what a horrible thing to do for a TV show! Maybe this was the start of bad reality TV 🙂 Please keep all the positives coming!

  6. When I throw my problems and my friends problems all in together, I will still always choose my problems to deal with. Another truth I have found is that when ever I look at someone else and wish I had what they have, in the end something usually happens and I am perfectly happy with what I have been given.

    I still would take a chance on winning the lottery and having fun figuring out what to do with all that money though….. 🙂

  7. Thanks for the reminder that while I wait (and wait… and wait) for others to get over themselves, I can just take that same time and effort and get over MYself, and move forward.

    As Grandma would say, “The time will pass anyway.”

  8. Kristin,

    As always, another fabulous inspiring read. This one made me think of two things

    1) This blog entry has a theme song to go with it that keeps playing in my head -“Everybody’s Got Their Something” by Nikka Costa. Quite a good one you might enjoy, it makes me smile.

    2) A fabulous quote that I just recently came across “We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” Abraham Lincoln

    Thank you!

  9. Kristin,

    Another wonderful blog, thank you! Great tips and stories. I also enjoyed the comments. I would add Tip 4: Choose to surround yourself with friends who see the beauty in every day and every challenge. What a difference it makes.

    All the best!

  10. Wow – what a wonderful community of comments. Thanks all! Yes – we need to surround ourselves with positive energy and people. Say so long to nay sayers and those that bring us down……let’s lift up!!

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